careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
handjob tips. give me some.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
