He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
There r osticjed everywhere
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
