you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
