This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
