We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
