but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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