We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
