one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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