she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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