I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
