I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
