You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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