I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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