I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
3 2 1 whiskey
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.