Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
