kristin has been a bad kristin
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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