i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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