so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
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he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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