The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
