She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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