Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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