he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
