well you can't waste a boner
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
