i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
