come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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