yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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