you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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