you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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