You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
