Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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