I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
