Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
