i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
