then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
