Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize