If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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