did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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