Cold hands, warm shart.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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