I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If that was your dad, he is hot
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
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There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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