We're facebook friends in real life
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
