He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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