We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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