he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
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He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
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i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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