How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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