I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
