pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize