I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Drunk is not a location!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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