It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I smell stomach acid.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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