I just pynch a tree in the face
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am available for nakedness
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
