did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
