That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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