Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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