god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
