did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
