I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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