I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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