And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
